Grief Becomes Joy

A Reflection on John 16:20-23

Jesus said to his disciples:
20 “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will weep and mourn, while the world
rejoices; you will grieve, but your grief will become joy. 21When a woman
is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she
has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of her
joy that a child has been born into the world. 22So you are also now in
anguish. But I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice and no one
will take your joy away from you. 23On that day you will not question me
about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father
in my name he will give you." (John 16:20-23)

At the time of His Ascension, Jesus warned us that we, His followers, who are not part of the everyday world despite having to live in it, will “weep and mourn” while those who do belong to this world will rejoice in the sins that cause problems which result in human suffering. He said that life will be hard for us and yet, despite all that, our grief will turn to joy (a rather frequent image invoked throughout both Testaments). Jesus used an analogy comparing a woman’s labor pains with circumstances His followers must endure: that despite the pain of suffering in life, His believers will reap rewards both new and wonderful. How does transformation occur? Through prayer; for as Jesus promised, “I assure you, whatever you ask the Father in my name He will give you”.

“Hmmm, is that so?” you may be asking. How many times have you followed this advice only to have your sufferings continue or maybe actually get worse? This is a perplexing circumstance that is not at all uncommon. It seems to me this may well be one issue which frequently turns believers into non-believers. It is a terrible dilemma, perhaps the most effective weapon in Satan’s arsenal for creating enmity between the Creator and His created. A frequent related perplexity is the ubiquitous question, “Why does God allow suffering?”, a topic all its own and which will be addressed another time.

On a personal note, I have endured a little more than two decades of incredible disappointments, heartbreaks, and gut-wrenching pain – both physical and emotional. Each and every situation was, I thought, thoroughly covered in prayer, lots and lots of prayer through my own efforts and those of prayer partners, prayer groups, and the prayers of clergy and vowed religious. None of it helped. At least none of it helped in the way I wanted the situations to be resolved. Worst of all, had God done what I had asked from the beginning, some further complications would never have occurred. A lot of the pain and suffering could have been avoided. Or could it?

All I can judge success or failure by is whatever path I had in mind and whether or not I got to travel it; I cannot be aware of all the possible other paths I could have taken at those times since I am not omniscient. Only God is and clearly, he saw another path that would actually be better for me, even though I would have to endure great suffering while walking along His way. But remember what Jesus said, the pain His servants suffer on His behalf will be rewarded and that reward will be unimaginable joy. Of course some the paths I hoped to follow I didn’t really see as having anything to do with His plan for me; I couldn’t see any reason God would be interested whether I had to teach summer school or not for instance. At the time, up close and personal, I could not see the forest for the trees. But it was part of His plan, perhaps one of the smaller parts but a part just the same which I see now that, in hindsight, I can step back and view the larger picture.

Paul’s writings remind us constantly that “the life of a servant of God is never easy and certainly not safe”, as Terry A. Modica says. Apparently, from God’s point of view, easy living for Paul was not to be for a reason known only to God. Paul’s sufferings somehow galvanized his ministry thereby insuring it would continue, no matter what. And it does, to this day. Would that have happened if God had gone easier on Paul? We’ll never know because Paul chose to have faith in God’s way and obeyed, although I’m willing to bet God knows.

The point being made is that nothing can permanently interfere with God’s plans and purposes. Just because the end to our suffering may be delayed, that is no proof Evil is triumphing over Good. Disappointed Christians frequently become disaffected Christians because of their perception that God is absent or uncaring during our times of darkness and suffering. St Therese of Lisieux spoke at length of this as did St John of the Cross. The truth is God allows Evil to exist for His own good reasons although he does use angels and demons both, good times and bad, to bring salvation to millions. This is amply demonstrated by the events of Good Friday wherein Satan thought he had defeated Jesus, as did the condemning Jewish authorities, only to be resoundingly defeated forevermore. The comforting fact for us is the realization that in the end, Good triumphs over Evil - always does, always will. So if we take away from the Good Friday events the proper lesson to be learned, we will always know with unshakeable confidence that unless we refuse the salvation offered us through Christ, no matter how dark and bleak our lives may seem, God will always have our backs; we need never worry and that is a joy beyond all joys! Unfortunately, it is easy to say yet difficult to remember in times of fear and desperation.

My own experiences over the course of the past 20 or so years prove this point amply. Looking back, I now recognize I passed through what St John of the Cross referred to as the Dark Night of Faith. To some extent I may still be experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul, a frequent companion or extension of that of Faith, although I see far more daylight now than darkness. But for a long time my world was immersed in inky darkness and the root cause for this was my lack of faith in God, believing that He had a plan for me which the Holy Spirit would guide me through with Jesus as my comforting companion. It was alright for me to be upset over the events that were taking place and to feel sad, even mad. However what I lacked was the confidence that God knew what He was doing. Had I just had that confidence and trust, which is the essence of belief, turning it all over to Him with the sure knowledge that He knew exactly what He was doing and all would turn out okay in the end, I could have saved myself so much misery. My resistance and lack of faith only served to increase my suffering a thousand fold as I asked over and over again, “Why me Lord, why this?”.

So whether you understand or not what is happening and why, believe that God is guiding your life in the direction He believes is best. Realizing this truth and that He is in fact listening and answering your prayers is your release from worry, one root of all suffering. His path may not be what you had expected nor what you had thought was best yet the sure confidence that He knows a whole lot more than you and sees a whole lot more than you, needs to be your comfort that all those labor pains will bring about something far more wonderful than you could ever imagine on your own. As you await the birth of that which is to come, you would be well advised to prepare yourself by learning all you can from this present moment, the transformative NOW I spoke of in the previous post.

Trust God and love Him with all your heart in the sure belief your Father has not abandoned you nor has he turned a deaf ear to your pleas. Be confident that your life is unfolding just as it should according to God’s unique plan for you. In other words, though it may not be rational, have faith and be comforted by it!